Aaron–Proposal #11
Hi Joanna,
Having read your site and all about your project, I had some ideas. First, background for your enjoyment.
Last year, I had a girlfriend, and after the relationship was well underway, I started working where she worked (a science museum and curriculum development institution). We became co-workers. Every year there is a big holiday party with a talent show for all the 150 or so employees. My idea was to propose to her in a skit – a secret which many of the other staff would be in on. I hadn’t gotten as far as writing the script for it, but I had some ideas that there would be a song with a chorus that a huge section of the crowd would join in on. Then the girlfriend would be coaxed onto the stage, and I would sing one of the verses, something to the effect of -
“There’s something deep inside,
something I want to ask,
but a part of me is too shy,
might not be up to the task.”
(Sounds like a Broadway musical, eh?)
Then I’d “need a little help from my friends,” and folks in the crowd would sing out in unison the last line of the song, “Will you marry him?”
This was my big idea, until I realized that she does not like being in the spotlight (as I do). Surprises are ok, as long as they are safe. I loved my idea, but this was probably not the right person to try that on. Would have been a train wreck. And the relationship subsequently unraveled due to other factors.
It’s interesting that I’ve schemed up quite a few proposal ideas and wedding ideas. And now along comes… you, who obviously like the spotlight, and would be a glad recipient of some elaborate and incredible marriage proposal.
Now, here’s the thing: I’ve come up with a proposal for you, but IF I TELL YOU WHAT IT IS NOW, it’s GOING TO SPOIL THE SURPRISE! Where’s the fun in that? So I’ve given you some indication of my creativity and potential.
And I’ll hint now at what my proposal to you would look like.
It would involve some travel. By many modes (not all mechanized). This would give us some idea of whether there was a fit between us.
It would involve exercise and time in nature.
It would involve some simple ritual of progression into a new chapter of life.
There would come a moment of truth. It might be both exciting and deeply touching.
There would be a feeling of being far away from all that’s familiar, and extremely close to home, at the same time. A paradox.
That’s all I can tell you. If you want to know more, you’ll have to experience it firsthand.
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Ok, so you want to know more about me?
I am a 33-year-old physicist, musician, poet, activist, and teacher/presenter. Or you could call me a baker, writer, hiker, meditator, and yogi. Or you could call me a fierce peaceful warrior – one who stands up like a willow in a storm, bending but not breaking, while the rigid oak is toppled by the wind. I’ve worked quite a bit on emotional “stuff”, so that I have clear and healthy boundaries and a clear sense of integrity, authenticity, and affection. And I know that no one is ever “done” with that inner work. I am smart enough to know how little I know about much of anything. And I’m humble about it, too.
What I’m looking for is a partner who will challenge me intellectually, physically (in exercise), spiritually, culinarily, and with humor – to be the best man I can be. And who is grateful for my challenging her in the same way. One who is willing to work on her “stuff” and grow as I work on mine – and even work on common “stuff” together.
Here’s to laughing out loud at 3am … about stuff no one understands but the two of us.
Aaron.
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Dear Aaron,
Wow, thank you for such a thoughtful email! Sorry for taking so long to get back to you, I was away enjoying Thanksgiving in New York.
First, I think it’s great you are in Berkeley–the bay area is my home away from home, no joke. I am constantly homesick for it.
Second, I do appreciate the intense surprise proposal idea. I don’t mind being in the spotlight, but I’m actually kind of shy at first and don’t love crowds of people. Crowds of friends yes, crowds of strangers, no. I know it sounds backwards probably, given the nature of my project, but its true, and I actually have to get myself really worked up when I go out looking for proposals. I also really appreciated reading about your story with your ex girlfriend. Sorry though, that it didn’t work out!
So, your proposal idea, is wonderful actually. Besides the surprise, and all of the other kinds of details, I like the way you think about it. Sort of like all of the elements in an abstract way, without pinning it down to details. But how will I ever know what it will really be like? Can you give me any hints? Well, either way, this is a really solid idea, and I would love to pay you for it. But how can I get you the $20, so you can be a proper contender in A Decent Proposal? Mailing Address? Paypal? Ebay? What works for you?
Thanks again for the lovely proposal idea!
Joanna
