SURVEY
I am finding myself asking the same questions again and again to everyone who participates and comments on my project. So, I’ve decided to compile all the questions here. If you have a few minutes, I would love to know more about you and what you think of my project.
You can comment on this page, or send an email with your answers to: a.decent.proposal.project@gmail.com with “survey” as the subject.
Thank you to everyone who has been responding to the project. Apparently, I’m not the only person out there thinking about these kinds of things!
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1. Are you now or have you ever been married? How long?
2. How did you propose? or get proposed to?
3. Please describe your thoughts on the relationship between a proposal and the actual marriage.
4. What are your feelings about marriage?
5. Are your parents married? How long?
6. Are your friends married? About how many?
7. Are you dating anyone or in a relationship now? If no, when was your last relationship?
8. Have you ever proposed to someone? If yes, please describe.
9. When you date, how/where do you find women/men to date?
10. What is your preferred method for meeting new people?
11. Have you ever used Internet dating services? Which and what was/is your experience?
12. How have things like social networking, twitter, text messaging, smart phones, and any other new technologies affected your personal life, and intimate relationships?
13. What are the things you assume to be true about romantic, intimate relationships? and in terms of power dynamics, and financial responsibilities?
14. Do you always pay for the first date? Why or why not?
15. How do you feel about prostitution?
16. Do you see proposals and weddings, etc., as being marketable businesses?
17. Do you watch many movies? What genre do you watch most?
18. Do you watch TV? Which shows do you watch the most?
19. How have the TV and movies you watch affected your life?
20. How well do you know me? When and how did we meet?
21. How did you hear about A Decent Proposal?
22. What was the first thing that came to mind when you heard about it?
23. Is there a particular part of the project or blog that interests you more than the rest? Which and Why?
24. Why would you, or why would you not want to participate?
25. Why do you want to propose to me?
26. Do you think your response to A Decent Proposal differs between seeing the website and meeting/talking with me in person? How so?
27. Does it make a difference to you whether I end up marrying someone through this project? Why or why not?
28. Where do you think A Decent Proposal fits in with our society’s expectations of marriage, divorce rate, and the legislation surrounding gay marriage?
29. What do you think A Decent Proposal says about me, and what kind of person I am?
First I want to say I am a female (not a potential suitor)… I think it is funny you did this, but really sad and desperate that you would want to get married so bad.. And I don’t think anybody decent would respond..even if you did get a decent proposal. Maybe a few people would respond who you wouldn’t want anyway. I figure there are a lot of girls out there like this (I mean, desperate to get married.. but I guess not so creative to actually make a website!) I was also surprised a legitimate website (the nyfa) would allow you to put your posting up. It makes their site seem less legitimate and kinda ruins their reputation… Unless you are really putting this together for an art project (but really you must have a motive to find someone in the end).
About me: I’m married (for three years with a one and two year old). Never dreamed of getting married but wanted a baby and decided last minute I wanted to do it if I get pregnant.. so we went to city hall while i was prego. This was shortly after I moved to chicago ( We weren’t ever boyfriend /girlfriend before but both wanted a baby (and he was everything I wanted) – this was while I lived in NY and he in Chicago). I think marriage makes sense if you have kids, especially if you’re the woman. Otherwise, if no kids, then I would say be on your own. Independent with no boyfriend… Take advantage of your freedom.
Dear Cheryl,
Thank you for your interest in A Decent Proposal. I can understand your point of view, but I think it might be a result of there being SO much information on my website (unless you didn’t actually take the time to read any of it) that you didn’t quite understand the full scope of the project. Or perhaps you are not as happily married as you say you are. I don’t know.
Anyway, this is an art project. It is also about my life. I wanted to start a dialogue about issues like: how relationships are like transactions; how relationships are affected by media, movies, tv, marketing, popular culture, advances in technology; how our expectations and traditions don’t seem to be functional in the same way they have been in previous generations. I am also looking for someone to share my life with. It is a genuine, legitimate search. Whether I end up married or not from this project, or even come out of it in a serious relationship, doesn’t seem as relevant to me as to whether I come out of it with a better understanding of these issues in our culture, and my own place in it. I am acting as a funnel and a filter for my community, the people I meet, to provide a voice for the way relationships are viewed.
As for your comments about NYFA, perhaps, if you feel so strongly, you should write a letter of complaint to them for posting something that is to you, clearly not art related. I am glad you brought this up though, as it points to the fact that like many things, art is a business. NYFA is a business. What is their reputation? They have great services, from workshops to fellowships, to classifieds and open calls for artists. But, I had to pay them for my advertisement, as I’ve had to pay for workshops as well. If they are such a wonderful institution, why are all of their services not free for artists? It is too bad that your narrow vision of what art is, does not include this project. Again, if you feel so strongly about it, perhaps you should let them know.
I wish you the best of luck with your artistic career.
Best wishes,
Joanna